i don't know what it is about it that matters to me so much. the guys just mean alot to me and i want to mean alot to them but i can't if they know stuff like that. I can't feel well knoing that they know something that i havn't even forgiven myself for yet.
and then the fact that u think nothing of it. It's the same kind of deal as u hanging all over me. Instead of another friend with respected opinions i merely become ryan's gf. or at least my emotions pull me in that direction. They make me feel as tho that is how it is. i just havn't developed my self enough to show them that yet. If u wanna go and tell all that crap then go ahead. It just makes things ten times harder for me. I'll still participate but i just don't feel that it was completely your place to share such a secret. Not when you want me to be part of things. It makes me highly uncomfortable at this point. and i don't see how u cna't understand that. number one its not wrong for a guy to have sex so he can tell whoever he wants. Virginity means alot more to me then it does you so you should take that into concideration. but most of all i respect them like i respect father richard and i could not imagine telling father richard what u told them. Not before he had gotten to kno me little bit...
u have to at least understand that a little bit. It'd be like me telling them about your fetish or something.

¶ 3:43 PM